请检查一下这段话有没有语法或拼写错误Hello.My name is Wu Yifei.I'm 13 years old.I study in No.50 Middle School.I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7.I love English very much.I can read English books.I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanes

请检查一下这段话有没有语法或拼写错误Hello.My name is Wu Yifei.I'm 13 years old.I study in No.50 Middle School.I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7.I love English very much.I can read English books.I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanes
请检查一下这段话有没有语法或拼写错误
Hello.My name is Wu Yifei.I'm 13 years old.I study in
No.50 Middle School.I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7.I love English very much.I can read English books.I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanese.I can play the guitar.I like chocolate best but I don’t like vegetables.I often do my homework and get information on the computer.I am good at computer.So I think computer is good for us.That is all.Thank you very much.
第二段话.
My oration is Computer helps us.
Computer is our assistant.We can get information on it.If I have some problems then I often use the computer to help me solve the problems.I often do some homework on the computer if it is difficult.I always play computer games twice a week.I usually read news on the computer.I think it is good for me and it is cheaper than newspapers.On the computer,I can download music,visit websites,send emails and so on.So I think computer can help us.
如果有请把原文复制下来之后在错误的地方改正（打括号就可以了）,这是我明天参加比赛的演讲稿,如果提点建议会追加分!
那个谢谢两位
但是你们改的话ms有改错的
小左580，动词前面加上be动词，这个动词不能用原型。写作业和获取信息是并列的，我觉得不用改吧？can是情态动词，后面用动词原形。
那个，第一段是自我介绍= =
第二段才是演讲主题= =

请检查一下这段话有没有语法或拼写错误Hello.My name is Wu Yifei.I'm 13 years old.I study in No.50 Middle School.I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7.I love English very much.I can read English books.I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanes
Hello.My name is Wu Yifei.I'm 13 years old.I study in
No.50 Middle School.I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7.I love English very much.I can read English books.I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanese.I can play the guitar.I like chocolate best but I don’t like vegetables.I often do my homework and get information on the computer.I am good at computer.I think computer is good for us(你擅长computer跟你认为计算机是否对大家有帮助没有关系哦,所以不要用so,将good for改称helpful for us更合适).That is all.Thank you very much.
对第一段点评：LZ中心思想不够明确,这篇lecture想要表达什么意思呢?一会写英语,一会写吉他,一会巧克力,一会蔬菜,一会又到计算机.不太明白LZ想要通过这个lecture表达什么意思?说明自己的爱好吗?如果是,最好分类爱好,因为这几个爱好完全没有关系.所以希望LZ针对一个爱好,比如computer,重点说明你对计算机改变人类生活的看法.
第二段话.
My oration（lecture） is Computer helps us.
Computer is our assistant.We can get information on it.If I have some problems then(去掉then) I often (often去掉,改成will)use the computer to help me solve the problems.I often (often去掉,改成will)do some homework on the computer if it is difficult.I always play computer games twice a week.I usually read news on the computer.I think it is good for me and it is cheaper than newspapers.On the computer,I can download music,visit websites,send emails and so on.So I think computer can help us.
这段没什么大的错误,但主要和上一段一样,不要一直是一个句型,i...it..we..全部是代词+动词+名词,没有被动,没有倒装,缺少必要的连接词,看起来很卡瓦伊的英语哦.努力哦!

Hello. My name is Wu Yifei. I'm 13 years old. I study in
No.50 Middle School. I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7. I love English very much. I can read English books. I can speak Chinese,English and a little...

全部展开

Hello. My name is Wu Yifei. I'm 13 years old. I study in
No.50 Middle School. I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7. I love English very much. I can read English books. I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanese. I can play the guitar. I like chocolate best but I don’t like vegetables.I often do my homework and get information on the computer. I am good at computer. And (so) I think computer is good for us. That is all. Thank you very much.
My oration is Computer helps us.
Computer is our assistant. We can get information on it.If I have some problems then I often use the computer to help me solve the problems. I often do some homework on the computer if it is difficult.I （always） play computer games twice a week.I usually read news on the computer.I think it is good for me and it is cheaper than newspapers.On the computer,I can download music,visit websites,send emails and so on.So I think computer is really helpful(can help us).
整体来说没有什么语法错误，不过文章比较生涩

收起

Hello. My name is Wu Yifei. I'm 13 years old. I (am)study in
No.50 Middle School. I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7. I love English very much. I can read English books. I can speak Chinese,English and a li...

全部展开

Hello. My name is Wu Yifei. I'm 13 years old. I (am)study in
No.50 Middle School. I'm in Class 8 ,Grade 7. I love English very much. I can read English books. I can speak Chinese,English and a little Japanese. I can play the guitar. I like chocolate best but I don’t like vegetables.I often do my homework and get information on the computer. I am good at (using)computer. So I think computer is good for us. That is all. Thank you very much.
我觉得逻辑上有些小小的问题，你觉得呢？
大家好，我叫。。。我几岁了。。。我在哪里上学。。在几班。。这些都没有问题 但是往后看是不是首先该说会三门语言，然后再说喜欢英语，喜欢读喜欢说。。然后介绍自己的爱好。。。
关于写作业的那句是否该改一下呢？应该是说在写完作业后就经常上网搜索信息对么？i oftenget information on the internet after i finish my homework.
这就是第一段。希望你明天比赛顺利咯~！
My oration is Computer helps us.
Computer is our assistant. We can get information on（from） it.If I have some problems then I often use the（可去掉the） computer to help（helps） me solve the problems. I often do some homework on the computer if it is difficult.I always（“总是”用在这里不合适，建议去掉） play computer games twice a week.I usually read news on the computer.I think it is good for me and it is cheaper than newspapers（没有s）.On the computer,I can download music,visit websites,send emails and so on.So I think computer can help（加S） us.
电脑用复数的话后面动词就没有S，电脑是单数的话就不加S，祝你顺利~~
有问题可以再来问我~

收起