英语作文评论 ,我写的不是很好.Shopping on the NetNowadays,more and more people become lazy and rich; in addition,surf the Internet is become more and more popular.So that some people like shopping on the Net.People hold different opinions

英语作文评论 ,我写的不是很好.Shopping on the NetNowadays,more and more people become lazy and rich; in addition,surf the Internet is become more and more popular.So that some people like shopping on the Net.People hold different opinions
英语作文评论 ,我写的不是很好.
Shopping on the Net
Nowadays,more and more people become lazy and rich; in addition,surf the Internet is become more and more popular.So that some people like shopping on the Net.
People hold different opinions on that.Some think that shopping on the net is very convenient.First of all,we haven’t to go to the market tiredly and then the service staff will send to your home with present like a star.Secondly,on the net have all kinds of goods,you can go shopping with reckless abandon.Last but not least,the goods prices online is cheaper than market.
However,some other people hold that shopping `on the net is harmful to people.In the first place,people look at the goods online may be is not really,in other worlds,it is picture and may be quality is not good.In the second place,on the net have a few frauds.You give him or her some money for your goods that pitch on the net.But you don’t gain it.As a result,shopping on the net is not safe.
In my opinion,this question should be probed in depth.But form what has been discussed above,we can see clearly that the most important thing for us shopping on the net the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages,because now more and more website are more comprehensive for shopping on the net.

英语作文评论 ,我写的不是很好.Shopping on the NetNowadays,more and more people become lazy and rich; in addition,surf the Internet is become more and more popular.So that some people like shopping on the Net.People hold different opinions
Shopping on the Net
Nowadays,more and more people become lazy and rich【个人倾向于rich but lazy】; in addition,surf【surfing,后面已经有is】 the Internet is become【becoming】 more and more【建议换个表达方式,尽量不要连续重复使用】 popular.So that some people like shopping on the Net.
People hold different opinions on that.Some think that shopping on the net is very convenient.First of all,we haven’t【此处用作实义动词,don't have】 to go to the market tiredly and then the service staff will send 【前文没有指代商品,最好还是写清】to your home with present like a star【这个我没看懂……】.Secondly,on the net have【用there be表达】 all kinds of goods,you can go shopping with reckless abandon.Last but not least,the goods prices online is cheaper than market.
However,some other people hold that shopping `on the net is harmful to people.In the first place,people look at the goods【建议改为goods people see】 online may be is【已经有be了,is就是be动词,去掉】 not really【改为形容词,real】,in other worlds【words= =】,it is picture【可数名词,要不加a要不改复数】 and may be quality is not good【the quality may not be good】.In the second place,on the net have a few frauds【第二次出现该错误,对于物应用there be】.You give him or her some money for your goods【有点罗嗦,用pay即可】 that pitch on the net.But you don’t gain it【这里存在不确定性,原语义不通】.As a result,shopping on the net is not safe.
In my opinion,this question should be probed in depth.But form what has been discussed above,we can see clearly that the most important thing for us shopping on the net 【is （that）】the advantages 【are】far outweigh the disadvantages,because now more and more website【复数】 are more comprehensive for shopping on the net.
以上存在几个问题
1,动词.LZ去复习下几种动词的区别吧
2,物所有用there be表达,不能用have
3,用词重复.像more and more就出现了三次,出现这种情况要尽量替换,尤其是开头结尾不要出现连续的重复用词.可以背一些常用的替换词,写作文会用得到
4,从句.从文中可以看出LZ是硬着头皮用从句,弄巧成拙了.建议收集相关从句自己分析比较仿写（参考书也是好物口牙!）
5,写作文的时候要考虑翻译成中文是否通顺,是否能表达出完整的意思.写完最好多读几遍,错误能免则免
LZ加油=v=

surf.开头应是surfing
become改为becoming
for us shopping on 改为 for us to shop
其实写的还可以的，↖(^ω^)↗，我水平比你低啦，其他的有些看不懂，其实只要注意小细节，仔细检查就可以了。还有要加强基础知识，注意句子前后的贯通，come on!!!
O(∩_∩)O谢谢...

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surf.开头应是surfing
become改为becoming
for us shopping on 改为 for us to shop
其实写的还可以的，↖(^ω^)↗，我水平比你低啦，其他的有些看不懂，其实只要注意小细节，仔细检查就可以了。还有要加强基础知识，注意句子前后的贯通，come on!!!
O(∩_∩)O谢谢

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加油