请大牛们检查并修改以下托福作文语句我要用在托福作文里的,主要检查有没有语法错误,或者怎么表达能更符合美国人的思维习惯,如果能大概评一下分就更好了（当然我指的是单就这些例子

请大牛们检查并修改以下托福作文语句我要用在托福作文里的,主要检查有没有语法错误,或者怎么表达能更符合美国人的思维习惯,如果能大概评一下分就更好了（当然我指的是单就这些例子
请大牛们检查并修改以下托福作文语句
我要用在托福作文里的,主要检查有没有语法错误,或者怎么表达能更符合美国人的思维习惯,如果能大概评一下分就更好了（当然我指的是单就这些例子或句子而言）,马上要考了来不及了,
1.Doing sports will not only increase people's metabolism but also strengthen their immunity.For instance,in the past,many high schools in my city canceled the PE lessons in order to make students focus all their attention to study.As a result,the number of students who were absent from school due to coming down with a cold increased rapidly,which has a bad influence on both the student’s life and the school’s routines.From this case,the consequence of neglect of health is obviously acknowledged.After restoring physical courses,this situation was just alleviated.
2.Food conditions has been improved a lot.A research said that thirty years ago,35 percent of the deaths of children worldwide are caused by hunger.However,with the rapid development of agricultural science and cultivation technology,this situation has been well alleviated today.Hunger is no longer a pressing problem facing our world.Since most people do not need to worry about whether they would starve the next meal,an increasing number of them began to focus on the nutritious value of their foods.How much fat contained in their food?How many calories their food possess?How many vitamins they can obtain from their food?They will take all these things into their consideration.The prevalence of some TV programs which introduce information about food nutrition can be a strong evidence for it.
3.Due to the increasingly keen social competition,finding a job has become one of the pressing problem facing the young today.
4.It is bound to provide good education (tourism) resources to the public.
这必定会给公众提供好的教育（旅游）资源
5.It is an excellent way to relax mood and to release stress.
这是放松心情、释放压力的绝佳方式.
6.It can promote the development of some relevant industries.
这可以带动相关产业的发展
7.This will cause an increase in government revenue.
这可以增加政府税收

请大牛们检查并修改以下托福作文语句我要用在托福作文里的,主要检查有没有语法错误,或者怎么表达能更符合美国人的思维习惯,如果能大概评一下分就更好了（当然我指的是单就这些例子
1.Doing sports will not only increase people's metabolism but also strengthen their immunity. For instance, in the past, many high schools in my city canceled the PE lessons（class or coures） in order to make students focus all their attention to study(若用focus后面加的是on,用attention的话前面固定搭配是pay). As a result, the number of students who were absent from school due to （coming down with a cold可改成illness,这里不要过长） increased rapidly, which has a bad influence on both the student’s life and the school’s routines. From this case, the consequence of neglect of health is（换回was吧,这样文段统一一些,因为你下句又用了过去式 表明句子在例子里） obviously acknowledged. After restoring physical courses, this situation was just alleviated.
2Hunger is no longer a pressing problem facing our world.这句话说得很别扭 food shortage is no longer a urgent problem we are suffering now.可以这样改吧.an increasing number of them began to focus on the nutritious value of their foods.这里的them指代不清 改成people 后面要加focus on some other problems 然后再说问题 不然话连不上 How many（kinds of） vitamins