请高人帮我改下雅思作文.最高能打个分Some people think computer and Internet are important in children's study,but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opini

请高人帮我改下雅思作文.最高能打个分Some people think computer and Internet are important in children's study,but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opini
请高人帮我改下雅思作文.最高能打个分
Some people think computer and Internet are important in children's study,but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Internet and computer are widely used in school's class during the modern society.The rapid advance s in science and technology provide the alternative way in childrend's study.To some people,the use of IT facility plays an indispensable role either in class or leisure time,while others consider that the participation of teachers can help students to learn more effectively.
Admittedly,the speed up development of technology such as computer and Internet facilitate the convenience of study.The resources used as context in projects or assignments can be found on the Internet directly by children.For instance,the search tool GOOGLE has millions of news,images and articles that with a free or very low cost.Furthermore,children access to Internet with no restriction that the studying barrier is not only limit to class,it can be easily used at home.They can study online with the videos and audios and gain the helpful tips which may improve the quality of study.
However,teachers' face-to-face teaching method assist understand the children's needs which promote the study in an effective way because the computers can not analyse what the real stuation is.Teachers can simply discover students' mistakes and misleading opinionsby asking the class questions,paying more attention on the weak areas of the subject and duscussing the confusing problems with children.Moreover,the interaction shown in the class by the students will also reinforce the communication with students.
I think there is no either view is ideal,it will benefit the children to adapt well in the future information era as well as to develop the skill of communicating by only applying the combination of both computer and Internet and teachers.

请高人帮我改下雅思作文.最高能打个分Some people think computer and Internet are important in children's study,but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opini
最后一段是自己写的吧,I think there is no either view is ideal,你到底要表达什么意思?两种意见没有一种是理想的?如果用否定形式的话,那么可以改成 “I don't think either view is ideal,”,或者 “Neither view, in my opinion, is ideal".
"skill of communicating" 这种说法不顺,应改成 "communication skill"
"by only applying" 也不通,正确的说法是 "only by applying"
"combination of both computer and Internet and teachers", 虽然我能理解both后面是一个主体,而”teachers“是另一个主体,但整句话看起来又罗嗦,又容易引起歧义.如果不想大改的话,那么"computer and Internet" 中间用"&"来取代"and",以和后面一个"and"作区别,这样就成了 "combination of both computer & Internet and teachers". 当然更彻底的解决办法是换一种说法,英文文章中切忌过度重复使用同一种说法,文中已多次出现了 "computer and Internet" 这一提法,那么现在换一下,比如 "combination of both Information Technology and teachers-students interaction."