Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan.This summer is special to me.Because I know a person.His name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He come from a single parent family.Not long ago,he is just an ordinary guy.But now he has many fans of the star.Howev

Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan.This summer is special to me.Because I know a person.His name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He come from a single parent family.Not long ago,he is just an ordinary guy.But now he has many fans of the star.Howev
Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan.This summer is special to me.Because I know a person.His name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He come from a single parent family.Not long ago,he is just an ordinary guy.But now he has many fans of the star.However,I think he is lonely.He is a litte strange.When he sings as if the world is his,and his voice can deeply touched me.He is my motivation.I think I have been deeply in love with him.That’s all thank you .

Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan.This summer is special to me.Because I know a person.His name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He come from a single parent family.Not long ago,he is just an ordinary guy.But now he has many fans of the star.Howev
Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan. This summer is special to me.This is because I know a person.His name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He come from a single parent family.Not long ago,he is just an ordinary guy.Now, he has many fans.However,I think he is lonely.He is a litte strange.When he sings, he is as if the world belongs to him. His voice can deeply touched me.He is my motivation.I think I have been deeply in love with him.That’s all thank you

Comment；
Not much grammar error
try to use short sentences
avoid sentence that starts with 'because', 'but', 'And'.
Personally, I don't like to use, 'that's all.'

我只改你的不当，至于文风不改
第三句，because i make a new friend
he comes 不是come ； a single family 不需要 parent
下面的句子 逻辑就有点儿问题了
应该说 几天前 对我来说 他还是个普通朋友，后来发现他很会唱歌 而且很特别 。。。。。 能打动我 鼓励我
a few days ago...

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我只改你的不当，至于文风不改
第三句，because i make a new friend
he comes 不是come ； a single family 不需要 parent
下面的句子 逻辑就有点儿问题了
应该说 几天前 对我来说 他还是个普通朋友，后来发现他很会唱歌 而且很特别 。。。。。 能打动我 鼓励我
a few days agos,he is just an ordinary frient to me.
but now i find that he sings well and his voice is special
然后 你可以说 他又很多 粉丝， 而且 我能感受到他的孤独（ican feel his lonliness, 这是孤独的名词形式）
his voice touches me deeply

其他的 没什么太大的问题

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Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan. This summer is special to me,because I make friends with a person whose name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He comes from a single-parent family.He used to be a...

全部展开

Hello,everybody.I am Puyuhan. This summer is special to me,because I make friends with a person whose name is Huachenyu.He is different from others.He comes from a single-parent family.He used to be an ordinary guy.But now he has many fans.However,I think he is lonely and a litte strange.When he is singing songs as if the world is his,and his voice can deeply touch me.He is my favorite.I think I have been deeply in love with him.That’s all thank you .

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